THE BALLAD OF CLUNY AND AGNES
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 · Jul 2, 2020
The bell tolls once for each year she’s lived, and with each peal Agnes’ spirit rises. But when the bell ringer stops at sixty-five, the almost #angel floats downward. “I shouldn’t have lied about my age,” Agnes mutters. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 8, 2020
Cluny’s only hat was a cloche and she wore strand earrings every day. When her baby brother clutched at the golden threads, Cluny bobbed her head up and down, and sang ding dong. She had a bell ringer’s #aesthetic. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 9, 2020
The bell is a #pachyderm, its trailing rope a proboscis, a shadow its ear. But the darkness lingers after Cluny turns on the light. Not a shadow, but a shade: Agnes the deflated spirit waiting for five more tolls to send her to heaven. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 10, 2020
They stare at each other. Agnes speaks, but her words are #orphans; Cluny can’t hear them. She gestures, but all Cluny sees are spiderweb threads drifting through the air. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 12, 2020
What Agnes lacks in intelligibility, she makes up for with #charisma. Cluny’s eyes follow the lost soul as she descends. The cold tap of Agnes’ finger on her face feels like a drop of water. Cluny looks up to check for a leak, but all she sees is the bell. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 13, 2020
The touch repeats four more times. The drops turn into an #ocean. Cluny doesn’t know the why, but she knows the what. She releases the bell and lets it toll. Agnes has no breath to hold, but she clasps her essence closer together, revealing her form at last. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 14, 2020
The bell’s clapper is a #sycophant. It runs to and from the lip like a gossip spreading tales. It loves to stir up trouble. Chloe stops after five pulls, but it makes one last journey. The sixth peal mewls like a new born kitten. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 15, 2020
The #chronicle of Agnes’s ascent to heaven ends abruptly when a toll too many strikes her in mid-flight. Stunned, she hurtles earthward. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 16, 2020
Agnes lands on the bell tower with a thump: her corporealness is an #anathema. She moans, one hand clutching the spire, and the other exploring her unfamiliar limbs. Attracted by the noise, Cluny looks out the window. “Does this body make me look fat?” Agnes asks. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 17, 2020
“No,” Cluny says, tossing a rope. Agnes ties it around her waist and creeps down the side of the steeple. When she slips, she dangles in the air, squealing, swaying back and forth like the clapper that brought her back to life. “A #pandemic of bell imagery,” she sighs. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 18, 2020
Cluny hauls Agnes into the bell tower. She lands on the floor in a heap. #Ostracized from her hopes of heaven, she ponders what to do next. “Is there any way to ring a bell backwards?” she asks hopefully. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 19, 2020
With a bell ringer’s #empathy, Cluny recognizes Agnes inside the unfamiliar body. “That extra toll brought you back to life? No way to reverse it, but we’ll have another chance to get it right when you’re buried.” “I always wanted to go to my own funeral,” Agnes says. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 20, 2020
Agnes’ new body is too tight in some places and too loose in others. She’s afraid to look into a mirror-the #schism between how she sees herself and how others see her has never been greater. But if she wants to go to her funeral, she needs to know who she’s wearing. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 21, 2020
Her face is a #poem, each feature a syllable. Her fingers count each one, from forehead to chin. “A haiku,” Agnes says. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 22, 2020
Cluny waits, wondering. Could the ring of a bell bring back the dodo? Or the #dinosaurs? Would they want to come back to the world as it is now? Agnes looks completely lost, and she’s just been dead a day. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 23, 2020
Agnes is disappointed and relieved her body’s previous occupant is a stranger: “Feels like I have bats in my belfry.” “Shh! You’ll wake them!” Cluny points up. A #galaxy of dust motes swirls between walls dotted with brown furred bodies tucked tight their wing blankets. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 24, 2020
When Agnes starts screaming, Cluny invites her home so the bats can get some rest. “Wonderful! I need to make a dish to bring to the funeral. Maybe ambrosia salad?” Cluny makes a face. “It’s the #nectar of the gods!” “Hades, maybe,” Cluny mutters. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 25, 2020
While Agnes makes Jello, Cluny surfs the net. She ignores the entries on #exorcism. “Agnes may be possessing someone else’s body, but she’s not evil…Death bell, also known as lych bell. That sounds promising…” #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 26, 2020
Agnes’ loaner body is handy in the kitchen. The unmolding of the ambrosia salad goes flawlessly, but Cluny refuses to come see it. “You don’t have to eat it!” “It’s not that, I have a marshamallow #phobia.” “Really?” “A traumatic smores related incident at summer camp” #vss365
“The Lych bell will send me to heaven?” Agnes sighed. “I hope so, unless you’ve changed your mind?” “Of course not. Heaven or bust! But being in a body makes me #nostalgic for my own. I wonder what mine is doing right now?” In a coffin, a corpse screams. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 28, 2020
Elaine had never imagined a lag between heart stoppage and heaven. That was for unhappy spirits or those with unfinished business. She saw #iridescence in every oil puddle and each glass as half full. “Oh no! The marshmallows!” She banged on the coffin. “Let me out!” #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 29, 2020
Horror movies were clear on the consequences of solitary visits to basements, but offered no guidance on shouting coffins. If someone needed help, should it matter whether they were alive or dead? Cluny had a #hero‘s spirit. She opened the casket.#vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 30, 2020
Cluny had fled Agnes and her ambrosia salad to find a quiet spot in her family’s funeral parlor to finish her term #paper. The reanimated corpse’s words sent a chill down her spine- she couldn’t get away from marshmallows wherever she went. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Jul 31, 2020
“It’s a birthday present. Promise me you give it to her. Then I can rest in peace.” Elaine the undead’s #agape battled with Cluny’s fear. Love won. “I will.” #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 1, 2020
The marshmallow’s stare triggered a wave of panic. It started in Cluny’s toes and swept upward. She began to count, imagined numbers dancing to a waltz, forming equations she solved in her head. #Math always soothed her. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 2, 2020
Cluny walks in a self-induced trance, counting each footstep, being sure to end on an odd #number. She places the sacrifice on the altar. A raccoon goddess ascends the stump and slays it with her teeth. The marshmallow, diminished by each bite, erodes to nothingness. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 3, 2020
Finding the safest place to stow Agnes overnight requires a complex #calculus: Cluny’s parents have predictable migratory patterns, but her baby brother has an erratic orbit. The attic is the solution. Agnes rummages happily through cast off toys and clothing. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 4, 2020
Cluny stares anxiously at the poker face of the tracking history on her lych bell purchase. It claims her package is in transit and expected to arrive on time, but it’s still several states away. If it’s delayed by an #epsilon, it will be too late. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 5, 2020
Cluny studies the lych bell #theorem, pondering how to change the spirit expulsion polarity from evil to good, and falls asleep to the chimes of midnight. She dreams of formula covered blackboards and a marshmallow eraser that changes all the plus signs to minuses. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 6, 2020
Agnes dithers from one outfit to another. There’s no #logic to her selections. A cheerleader’s uniform lies next to a tuxedo. A pirate costume snuggles with a fringed flapper dress. The funeral will be her last outing in her borrowed body, and she wants to go out in style.#vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 7, 2020
The no contact delivery person is gone before the buzzer fades, the package left on the doorstep is a single footprint. In a Schrodinger moment, Cluny imagines a bell swinging in and out of existence inside the box. Today Agnes will become a spirit #iff she loses her body.#vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 8, 2020
Cluny learns the lych bell, reading its engravings like braille, while Agnes creates a #topology of heaven, dolloping whipped cream on top of her Ambrosia salad. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 9, 2020
It’s time for the funeral. Unable to choose between her #manifold wardrobe options, Agnes wears them all. A cummerbund belts flapper dress. She drapes the cheerleader sweater over her shoulders and ties the pirate bandana around her neck. “Ready to ascend!” she cries. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 11, 2020
Agnes’ outfit puts off the other funeral attendees. Their eyes categorize her coldly. #Genus: human. Species: eccentric. The closed casket removes the temptation to see herself from an outsider’s perspective. “It’s what’s inside that counts,” she reminds herself. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 12, 2020
The bell in Cluny’s hand vibrates with energy-its notes will #vector Agnes’ spirit up to heaven. But first Agnes needs to get through the funeral. She walks toward her casket like iron drawn to a magnet, but catches on the back of the first pew and sits down. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 13, 2020
Agnes can’t resist looking over her shoulder. She expects to see a #field of mourners, but most of the pews are empty. She longs for heaven more than ever. Humanity was a clique she’d never belonged in. Time to spread her wings. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 14, 2020
Agnes doesn’t recognize herself in the eulogy. It simplifies a #complex life into a few sentences and transforms her flaws into foibles. It’s sweeter than a twinkie and leaves her craving more. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 15, 2020
The minister announces the interment will be private and invites everyone to the reception next door. Cluny and Agnes loiter behind a floral arrangement near the coffin as the mourners leave. Lych bell in hand, Cluny counts down to #zero. “Ready to launch!” Agnes whispers.#vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 16, 2020
Cluny swings the bell: #one, two, three times slow; five times fast. Agnes’ body hums like a bee hive to the sound of the peals, her spirit dispersing into hundreds of particles. They swarm out of her mouth and effervesce. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 17, 2020
Agnes’ host body teeters like a marionette before collapsing to the floor. As the last peal of the bell fades, the body grows fainter and fainter, until nothing is visible but a motley #group of clothing. Cluny views the remains. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 18, 2020
The folds in the clothing are a map to heaven, a #morphism of Agnes’ corporeal past and her spiritual present. Cluny’s fingers linger on the fabric, tracing Agnes’ path. She wraps the lych bell in the garments, stows them in her knapsack, and heads to the reception. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 19, 2020
The reverend helped Cluny to a portion of Agnes’ ambrosia salad. Cluny held it at arms length, glaring. #Contravariant functors and exorcism rituals dueled in Cluny’s mind. The marshmallows must go. #vss365V
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 21, 2020
Agnes’ #commute to heaven goes well once she sheds her body. The bell notes play catch with her spirit, tossing her higher and higher, until she gets stuck on a white puffy cloud. A forgotten thought worries at her consciousness, looking for a way in. #vss365
(corrected version)
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 21, 2020
Agnes casts a shadow on the cloud. A #triangle peeps over her shoulder. Craning her neck she can just see the beginnings of wings sprouting from her back. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 22, 2020
The marshmallows in the ambrosia salad are countless. Cluny would never degrade an #integer by quantifying their detested presence. A triangular shadow obscures them-a wing beat and they vanish from her plate. Free of the debt of unexpressed gratitude, Agnes rises upward. #vss365
M. P. McCune @MPMcCune2 Aug 23, 2020
Cluny thinks of Agnes while eating the translucent ambrosia salad. A #quantity of bell peals ring in her head, some sweet, some light, in an eccentric syncopated rhythm: a musical incarnation of friendship. She goes back for more salad, finds a marshmallow and eats it. #vss365
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